Adoption and Divorce


Marriages tend to be the most demanding of relationships. Every challenge you face, your partner faces in some capacity. Sometimes, excessive challenges can apply strain to the marriage. A familiar challenge couples may encounter pertains to parenting. Some couples choose to go the route of adoption instead of conceiving on their own. This can be the case for various reasons: infertility and moral motives are common factors. But there are considerations that should be addressed before committing to adoption. 

Adoption Considerations

Many children eligible for adoption are available due to special needs. Of course, this can often be the reason why a family would wish to adopt in the first place. Children with special needs require attention and resources that can differ from a child without the same condition. Although it can be exceptionally rewarding to parent a child with these needs, it can also be quite taxing. The child generally requires a significant amount of your time and energy. The time devoted solely to the child may be time away from your spouse. Special appointments and decisions may be made on a regular basis, and those decisions are sometimes made without conversing with your spouse. Unfortunately, this strain can damage a marriage. In many cases, one parent is more in favor of adopting than the other. These difficulties can lead to resentment between partners. Although, studies based on divorce and special needs vary depending on condition of the child, it is generally accepted that the divorce rate for parents of children with special needs is significantly greater, sometimes double, than those without. 

Parents of adopted children tend to be more scrutinized than other parents. Some of the scrutiny arising from society, but other more obvious scrutiny stemming from the government. Social workers are often required to conduct home visits, where every aspect of the child’s environment is meticulously criticized. Although, the social worker is there to ensure a safe and healthy atmosphere for the child, often times it plays a stressful role in the adoption process for the parents. Scrutiny from various sources can lead to arguments and additional strain on a marriage.

Adoption can also accrue financial strain. Couples considering adoption are generally very familiar with this obstacle. Costs for adoption can vary, with the average cost being $10,000 and the upper cost being close to $40,000. Of course, these expenses don’t even cover the other costs related to raising a child. The financial burden associated with adoption can also be a contributing factor to divorce. 

Adoption can be a noble and rewarding experience. However, many suggest that divorce rates among adopted parents are higher than the general public. If you find yourself in a situation where you can no longer stay married to your partner, contact a divorce attorney. The attorney, like a divorce lawyer in Lake Forest, IL from Hurst, Robin & Kay, LLC, should be familiar with the appropriate legal procedure to successfully file your divorce.